The Men of Hogwarts
by x Shut Up And S m i l e
Summary: James Potter decides to make a calendar with the other Seventh Year boys. Drabble-One-Shot.


**The Men of Hogwarts  
**

"No, Peter, you can't - Fabien, put down that beach ball! Benjy - _Sirius, get down from there__ - _JAMES! Put some clothes on, for Merlin's sake. Just - just _EVERYONE SHUT UP!_"

The room stilled.

Twelve young men (including Remus), were still and somewhat shocked by Remus's outburst. The Marauder looked somewhat hassled, holding a clipboard, and his hair unruly. His white button down shirt was completely unbuttoned, exposing a pale chest, and a disgustingly adorable archery bow was slung over his shoulder, the points of all the arrows were fat, pink hearts.

"James, _you_ organized this bloody mess, _you _will coordinate it, and _you _will control the neanderthals," Remus said somewhat angrily.

James grinned. "Good point, Remus." Remus practically threw the clipboard at his friend's bespectacled face, but James, with the grace and agility of a well-trained Quidditch player, caught it easily. "All right, troops! Fall in line!"

The other elven boys more or less gathered accordingly, but James didn't care. He paced up and down their clump, relaying orders as though he was a general commanding an army.

"Today is a big day," he began. "I have called you all here to work on a project that has _never_ been done before in Hogwarts History. I'm talking _big_," he paused for dramatic effect. "_Everyone _will remember us for it. _Every day _people will remember that glorious act of rebellion that the Seventh years - "

"And visiting alumni," Frank Longbottom cut in, Sturgis Podmore nodding in agreement beside him.

"Yes, and visiting alumni," James conceded, brushing the fact away with a careless wave of his hand. "That aside, everyone will remember us. I hope you all know and understand the potential consequences. It is very likely that each of us will be given numerous detentions."

"Except us two," Frank interrupted again, gesturing to Sturgis and himself.

James rolled his eyes impatiently, "Yes, except for Frank and Sturgis, who are not currently attending Hogwarts, as they graduated two and three years ago, respectively. Are you happy now?" he asked the two older wizards.

"Bit, yeah," Sturgis replied.

"And you'll be paying us for this, right?" Liam O'Haire, a Ravenclaw, asked.

"Five galleons each," James confirmed.

"I'll do anything for a galleon," Benjy Fenwick, also a Ravenclaw, said jokingly.

"I knew your date with Leslie Thompson wasn't real," Gideon accused, earning him a punch in the arm by Benjy.

"Settle down, settle down," James said lazily. When everyone was quiet, he smirked and said proudly, "Let the photo shoot begin!"

"I'm concerned for you masculinity, mate," Sirius informed him.

"Shut up, Padfoot."

* * *

"Hey, Simmons."

"James. What do I owe this pleasure?" Zoe asked somewhat sarcastically, stopping midway up the staircase she had been previously ascending.

"I need your help with something."

Zoe looked at him suspiciously. "What kind of help? Because if it's _anything _like last time-"

"No, no, no," James interrupted impatiently. "Look, you're good at spells, right? Can you help me make copies of things?"

"Why don't you get Lily to help you?" Zoe asked somewhat mischievously. "You two haven't been out of each others sights the past month, and she's the best at Charms."

"She can't know about this yet."

Zoe's eyebrows raised slightly. "Why not?"

"Help me out, and I'll tell you."

"I don't know..."

"Next Hogsmeade weekend I'll buy your weight in Honeyduke's fudge."

Zoe pondered this for about a third of a second before saying, "You sure know how to win me over, Potter."

* * *

"You're _kidding _me."

"Isn't it great?"

Zoe flipped through the large stack of pictures Dedalus Diggle had proudly placed in her hands.

"You lot are mental," she informed them, but was grinning as she flipped through it. "Nice pictures, Sirius."

"Thanks," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair and grinning.

"Wow... and you think the students would really buy this?"

"The girls, at least," Caradoc Dearborn said.

"Frank? Sturgis? They roped you two into this?" Zoe asked, baffled.

"Me 'n Alice came in for a visit this weekend, and James roped me into it," Frank defended himself. "He said he needed two more people for a project, so I called in Sturgis for the day."

"I just wanted the five galleons," Sturgis admitted.

Zoe flipped through it again.

"Merlin," she muttered to herself. "And you need me to make these into a-"

"Yes. Around three hundred," James interrupted.

"There aren't that many girls in Hogwarts."

"We'll take 'em to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

Zoe grinned. "Once these get out, you know you're going to get an earful from McGonagall. She'll confiscate them all before you can get them to Hogsmeade."

"We've made a deal with Rosmerta."

"The young bird working at the _Three Broomsticks_?"

"The very same."

"All right, James, I'll help you with your stupid plan. But Lily doesn't know anything of my involvement, right?"

"I won't tell a soul."

* * *

"Lily."

"Hmm?"

"Lily."

"What, Harley?"

"_Lily._"

"_What?_"

"_Look _at this!"

Lily Evans looked up from painting her toes to find one of her best friends, Harley Pensky, standing at the foot of her bed, holding a shiny laminated parchment something in her hands.

"What is that?" the redhead inquired.

"Just look at it," the brunette replied.

Without a word, Lily took what she thought was just a stack of parchment, only to find they were actually... a calendar?

_THE MEN OF HOGWARTS_

_A 12-month calendar of the fittest wizards in England  
_

"They didn't."

"They _did_. Isn't it _brilliant_?"

* * *

**A/N: Hello, readers!**

**Ahhh! I have returned to you with a one-shot before I recede back into the shadows of writer's block and summer.  
**

**This Author's Note shouldn't be too long. But I hope everyone enjoyed it. I didn't spend much time on it, so it's probably full of mistakes. I was supposed to have some big description of the calendar and each picture, but then I got a bit lazy, so for anyone who was curious:  
**

**January: Liam  
**

**February: Remus  
**

**March: James  
**

**April: Dedalus  
**

**May: Fabien  
**

**June: Benjy  
**

**July: Gideon  
**

**August: Peter  
**

**September: Sturgis  
**

**October: Frank  
**

**November: Sirius  
**

**December: Caradoc  
**

**How is everyone? I missed you guys! I'm currently working on a little comedy piece (titled 'The Effects of Alcohol'). At first it was just going to be a long one-shot, but then it somehow turned into a multi chapter short story. I'm not publishing it until it's 100% done because I have no idea where I want to separate it into chapters. But don't really expect it soon. I like not working with a deadline.  
**

**That's all from me today. If anyone likes, they can go to my writing tumblr: we-retheyoungonesnow(.)tumblr(.)com which doesn't have much on it, but I'm working on it. Good. (:  
**

**Until Next Time!  
**

**~Smile  
**


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